well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
