Apparently you make a good broom.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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