I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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