what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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