You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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