he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
