At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize