My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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