So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
