Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
