those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
