He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Houston, we have a squirter
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Rumble strips road head = magical
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Randomize
