So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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