My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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