so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
