i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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