it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
