Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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