Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
