I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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