Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
