I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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