people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
