To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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