at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
