i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
