Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
