Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
