just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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