If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
