yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize