I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
