god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
