Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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