Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
