It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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