I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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