My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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