New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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