very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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