The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
