Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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