Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
