Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
