Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
