He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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