If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
