He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
