i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Of course I have a pirate flag
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
