He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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