Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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