I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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