sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Randomize
