the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
