Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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