So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
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