So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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